Fear Is Just A Four Letter Word
January 1, 2026 inspiration, motivational, speaking Leave a comment
New Year Inspiration – Chapter 2
Everyone, regardless of gender, fears something. And fear is completely normal – until it starts to overtake your life and becomes your reality.
In my last post I shared some of my fears, along with four steps to overcome fear. While the steps are easy, the commitment you make to yourself to do the work will determine your success. The four steps:
Analyzing Your Fear(s)
Taking Control
Thinking Differently
Celebrate Success
Fear is a state of mind.
What we believe, what we say to others and the words we say to ourselves will move us toward our desired outcomes or literally stop us in our tracks.
Our words, thoughts and actions have extreme power. We may not be aware of the power we possess. A look, a smile, a word of criticism or praise can destroy in seconds, or lift up forever.
I began to notice the positive effects words had on others when I have given sincere appreciation of gratitude, or wrote a positive message. My affirmations began about 20 years ago, on a post- it note. I’ll be honest and tell you back then I did not have the complete belief in myself that I could accomplish amazing things, although I had the ability to motivate and inspire others from behind the scenes.
I believe in you.
I could empower others to take action in their lives with the overriding belief that if they wanted something bad enough and they were willing to do the work, nothing could stop them. I told them to “get out of their own way,” when I was the one still standing in mine.
I would give these post-it notes to people that asked for my coaching to support their personal goals. I would write out the messages and tell them to put the post-it notes all over their home, especially on their bathroom mirrors. I instructed them to read the messages out loud, while looking in the mirror, each morning and night. I received a few calls along the lines of “Bonnie, I feel a little silly saying these words out loud and do I have to look at myself in the mirror at the same time?
I would reply back to the business professionals, city mayors and members of congress, “If you do not believe in yourself, how will your constituents ever believe in you.” The belief I had in them helped to support the belief they had all along – once they tapped in to it. They went on to successfully fulfill their dreams in helping to make a better tomorrow for all of us, as I continued to move forward with the work on me.
The words we say to others are important.
The words we say to others are important. The words we say to ourselves are even more important. Be careful in your selection. You are always listening.
My post-it note messages have grown up and they are hitting the retail market in 2015. Six different vinyl decals are packaged together around themes – Confidence, Courage, Fear, Life, Relationships, Happiness and Gratitude. The full line can be previewed at www.essentialinspiration.net
If you are living a full life you will be in a constant state of growth. You are not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or a week ago. You’re always growing.
Experiences don’t stop. That’s life.
Let’s face it; a life without fear and the courage to overcome fear would be downright boring. Today I’m actually excited whenever I discover something that I’m afraid to do, because I know that something wonderful is going to happen – provided I summon the courage to take action.
Do the thing you fear the most. You now have four steps to guide you thought your fear, provided you are willing to do the work. Monitor your thinking. Negative thoughts weaken your courage muscle and drain your energy. Acknowledge a negative thought and replace it with a positive one.
We become the story we tell. Change the words you say to yourself to overcome your fears and the results can be amazing.
Welcome to 2015, let’s do this together!
Bonnie Milletto is author of the book, “Dedicated To The Cup, Nine Ways To Reinvent A Life!” An inspirational light, Bonnie is a featured motivational columnist for Willamette Living Magazine. Bonnie is also a keynote speaker and expert on the topic of empowerment, overcoming fear and providing exemplary customer service. She is available to speak to your group. Email Bonnie at [email protected] for more information.
Giving Back ~ Bernadette Basilio, SAFES Women Shelter
November 13, 2025 inspiration, motivational, speaking, Uncategorized Leave a comment
With freezing temperatures, The Salvation Army SAFES at Fairbridge female emergency shelter is seeing a massive increase in women looking for shelter from the cold, wind, and rain.
This Friday, November 14, 2014, the women in the shelter as well as the public will find additional inner warmth as they welcome Bonnie Milletto, an International Motivational Speaker and Author, for a transformational session called “Connecting Inner Beauty and Outer Beauty,” that will include 3 complete makeovers of current clients.
The event will be from 10am-1pm at SAFES at Fairbridge, located at 30 SW 2nd Ave, Portland, OR 97204.
During her presentation, Bonnie will be telling her story about “Finding Beauty, Strength, and Empowerment From The Inside Out,” inspiring women everywhere to know how beautiful they are. Following her presentation, 3 very special women who have demonstrated great motivation and success in the program at SAFES will be receiving a makeover transformation, provided by Blow Out, A Blow Dry Bar and Hands of Favor staff.
“This event means so much to the women. For many, they are struggling with their own inner and outer beauty, and we want them to know that every single one of them is beautiful and they can be the woman they’ve always wanted to be,” says Bernadette Basilio, Director at SAFES at Fairbridge. “We are especially looking forward to providing three of our women with the opportunity to be pampered. We are so thankful for Bonnie and for the team from Blow Out to help spread some extra warmth to our clients.” - Bernadette Basilio
SAFES at Fairbridge is a shelter for women experiencing homelessness with services that include case management, which targets housing and income stabilization. SAFES recently opened 45 extra mats in their shelter for the Winter, just in time for the current frigid weather. This is on top of the already 50 beds they provide year-round, with a waitlist of 200 women looking for shelter. SAFES is the largest low-barrier shelter for women in Portland and is expanding its services in the upcoming months as an additional 42 supportive housing units are under construction. Staff at SAFES is working tirelessly to get women off the streets and into housing, and by providing opportunities like this motivational speaker session, they are truly taking it to the next level to support these women.
Please join us for an afternoon of warming people from the inside out at a time when more and more women need some warming up!
Bernadette B. Basilio
Director of SAFES Women Shelter
30 SW 2nd Ave Portland, OR 97204
p:971-202-5356 f: 503-224-0158
Personal Note From Bonnie: I have visited the SAFES Shelter in Portland, OR several times and thought to myself what I could do to give back and lend a hand to those less fortunate. In addition to speaking and inviting my friends at the Blow Out Bar to weave their magic, along with the amazing nonprofit organization, Hands Of Favor, I will be gifting artwork - positive affirmation poster images for their newly painted walls. http://www.essentialinspiration.net The first step toward positive change is changing the words you say to yourself. Sometimes, we all need a little inspiration.
Let the reason for the season speak to your heart - help another to step up in your own unique way.
The Grateful Cup, Coffee Inspiration
November 12, 2025 inspiration, motivational, speaking Leave a comment
Go with no expectations and your expectations are exceeded every time. This is a phase I adopted several years ago and my trip to Guatemala was no exception.
Almost a year after I was invited to speak at a global conference comprising of 33 countries, I found myself taking the red eye (what was I thinking!) bound for Guatemala.
The International Women In Coffee conference (IWCA), comprised of women and men from all levels of coffee production, gathered in Guatemala City. Best practices from around the world were shared, challenges revealed and solutions given. New relationships were established and existing friendships deepened. Each day brought new discoveries and inspiration flourished. My presentation of Inspired Leadership blended best practices, laughter and a little dancing, along with a strong message of empowerment and possibilities. I was in my element and the conference was an overall success.
Life is like a good cup of coffee, full of flavor and meant to savor.
With my speaking event completed, I turned my attention to the next experience of my planned journey. I would spend six days on a working coffee farm. My primary goal was to relax, write, take a few pictures and renew a tired spirit from months of deadlines and the go, go, go of life.
Who am I? I am your average consumer, always in search of a great cup of coffee. Dedicated to the perfect cup.Those that work in coffee in the US call a trip like mine “origin” – visiting a land where coffee is grown. To my delight, I would be staying during the harvest season where the coffee berries are picked.
These are my memories that I share with you of an extraordinary journey into the truths of everyday life among traditional people in coffee in Guatemala.
Finca Pastores is a working coffee farm that I called home during my stay. The population of Pastores is slightly more than 800 people. It is famous for their leather boots, handcrafted furniture and in my opinion, tortillas. Hand made warm tortillas – everyday!
Ok, back to my coffee story . . .Finca Pastores is a beautiful farm and harvest time is a relaxed, joyous occasion. Men performed most of the physically demanding jobs, such as clearing, planting, pruning, and digging irrigation ditches. Women did much of the harvesting. The day I spent in the fields, one small happy child accompanied her mother. The young child gathered the low cherries, which were in reach by her tiny hands.
The Guatemalan harvesters pick only the ripe cherries, which are depulped by machine. The coffee berries are then left in water-filled fermentation tanks covered with parchment for up to forty-eight hours. From the fermentation tank the beans flow along a long channel, where the loosened mucilage washes off with the wastewater.
The beans are spread out to dry in the sun. The beans are then dried in huge rotating cylinders heated by dried parchment from previous batches, along with coal, gas, or wood pruned from shade trees.
The women hand sort the dried coffee, removing broken, blackened, moldy, or over fermented beans. The beans are sorted again and then bagged. And the bags of precious beans are stored in the warehouse, ready to be shipped all over the world.
The beautiful land of Guatemala gives up its gift in its own cycle of life – the season of coffee. The people have faith and hope that coffee will sustain their generations of families. Working in the fields and the factories is hard work. Still, the families that work in coffee are always cheerful and happy. I personally know happiness in a choice and yet I had to ask what makes them happy.
Each new day is the gift of life, and life is to be celebrated, every day. - Coffee Family Motto
I learned so much about coffee during the six days I spent on the farm. From planting and growing procedures to harvesting and production. I was surprised to learn how many of the beautiful coffee cherries must be picked to make just one cup of coffee – nearly half of a small coffee tree. I now have a deeper appreciation for the warmth of deliciousness I enjoy each morning.
And I learned to celebrate. I celebrated with the families each morning and again at night. Sharing stories, sharing culture, sharing good food and coffee, sharing life. We all cried the day I left Finca Pastores. I have always believed family is what you make it and this family made me a part of theirs, as they became a part of mine.
I returned home with a renewed sense and appreciation of our human differences, yet a renewed belief in the depth and joy of what we all share through the stories of our lives. I am now part of their legacy with the new stories I share, to celebrate their lives in coffee in Guatemala, one delicious cup, after cup, after cup.
Gratefulness is not confined to a day or a season. May the warmth of this 2014 holiday season last all year.
Cheers my friends!
Bonnie Milletto, is an International Keynote Speaker and Author of the book, “Dedicated To The Cup, Nine Ways to Reinvent A Life!” Twenty inspirational short stories to enjoy with your favorite cup. www.bonniemilletto.com/book
The book is a journey of the heart . . . my heart. To take you to places where I have been and the life lessons I have learned and to introduce you to some remarkable people in my life, who have shared their moments of truth in their lives. May these stories reach out from the page and touch you as they have touched me. It is my hope that you will see and feel our differences but also see and feel the many levels of life we all hold in common. We are all connected.
A Season Of Reflection
October 18, 2025 inspiration, motivational, speaking Leave a comment
Fall has always been one of my favorite times of the year with the beautiful foliage, football, hot dogs, and popcorn. Pumpkin spice in everything!
It is also a time of reflection and new beginnings. A time to consider what has been and what will be.
If winter is slumber and spring is birth, and summer is life, then autumn rounds out to be reflection. It’s a time of year when the leaves are down and the harvest is in and the perennials are gone. Mother Earth just closed up the drapes on another year and it’s time to reflect on what’s come before. – Mitchell Burgess
As I look to the future with inspired hope, my mind reflects back to some of the early defining moments in my life.
Stop trying to hold onto your past. You can’t start the next chapter of our life if you keep re-reading your last one. - Unknown
We all have triggers in our life that can serve to remind us of our fears and failures. These emotional triggers are the most powerful forces inside us.
We can choose to stuff everything back inside and not deal with the emotions that surface from past challenges. Or, we can choose to deal with the knots in our stomach; that keep us awake at night. Whatever we do, we can’t keep the circle going. It will only surface again and again and again. I kept my circle going for 34 years. Some will medicate themselves to numb the feelings. My medication was a mixture of work and food. There was too much pain from the past, and I was not ready to deal with the circle of challenges and the subsequent work I knew would be involved in knowing and being forced to make decisions.
Sometimes, holding on to a fear for a short while can aid us in becoming stronger and making better decisions in the future; but, when we’re unable to learn, or refuse to learn, or when we have learned and still hold on, we become stuck. Holding on to things that no longer serve us will make us physically and mentally ill. Fear is usually based on something from the past. If left unaddressed fear can hinder our progress, become self-fulfilling prophesy and keep us from being our personal best.
The present is where I am. But many of us don’t live here; we’re either fixated on the future or stuck in the past. I quit beating myself up and began to practice forgiveness and releasing blame, learning from the past and then letting go. I chose to get in touch with my emotions and let life begin to touch me. What began as a reflection of shadows—with practice and determination—started to take on a sharper image of me and who I have become.
If you ask most people who are successful, happy, and fulfilled in their careers and personal lives, they would probably tell you that they wouldn’t change a thing about their past. I would not change mine. The fact is I am the person today because of the choices and learning experiences of my past.
“We meet people for a reason. Either they’re a blessing or a lesson.”
We all have our own unique circumstances to overcome and rise above. The circumstances of my life have been amazing learning experiences that have led me to my own personal truth. Meeting and overcoming these challenges have taken me from a place of despair, to a life of meaning, laughter, acceptance, and peace. It is my hope that you might be inspired by my experiences and those of others you have met, or will meet. Be comforted by the knowledge that we are not alone, as we continue to travel the roads of life, one step at a time.
And as the pumpkin pie goes into the oven, I’m smiling and my thoughts turn inward. To explore what matters most, to make the most of this moment, to reflect, to be grateful for this season.
Cheers, my friends!
Bonnie
Bonnie Milletto | Motivational Speaker | Author | At Risk Youth | Empowerment Expert
Failure is an inside job. So is success.
September 22, 2025 inspiration, motivational, speaking Leave a comment
“When life does not go our way or we inadvertently make a mistake, it is so easy to make excuses, place blame on others, or argue that circumstances were against us. But, we only progress in life to the extent that we take responsibility for our actions and attitudes, and put forth the initiative necessary to create our own circumstances.” —Steven Covey
Life is full of opportunities to make mistakes. That’s how we learn and grow. They have been my best teachers in life. In fact, I think by now I have earned a PhD!
I am a risk taker and with that, I have had a life full of mistakes. And many boxes of Band Aids! Failure doesn’t matter. It is actually a gift – if we take it. It is an opportunity to learn something new, to choose a new direction and being again. No matter where we come from or what we’ve endured in the past, we can change our course, if we choose to do so. It requires work—hard work—and determination. For some, it requires hitting rock bottom, and for others, not even that will change the twisted reality they call life. None of us has the power to change anyone’s reality or truth. I can only control and change myself.
I don’t know many people who have not experienced failure or made mistakes. People who have no failures also have few successes. In fact, I have always felt successful people have more failures in their lives because they step out of their comforts zones and in to the planned risk of the unknown; where all the magic happens.
“Failure is an inside job. So is success. If you want to achieve, you have to win the war in your thinking first. You can’t let the failure outside you get inside you.” —John Maxwell
Everybody gets knocked down. Get up! TODAY is your new day to begin again!
Bonnie Milletto
| Motivational Speaker | Author | At Risk Youth | Empowerment Expert
Happiness is like a smile.
June 23, 2025 inspiration, motivational, Portland Oregon Conference, speaking Leave a comment
Happiness is a lifelong journey that is different for each of us.
We share common everyday happiness like having a good laugh, catching up with friends or sleeping in on the weekend. And we associate certain life milestones with happiness, like graduation, landing a new job, finding true love or celebrating a long association.
But how we define and measure our own happiness is very personal.
Happiness is like a smile. We all have one. But mine is different from yours.
Enjoying a chocolate peanut butter cupcake with rich chocolate icing makes me happy, but its effect is fleeting. Authentic happiness is linked to our values and priorities. Once we know what matters most to us, happiness begins to take shape.
Tomorrow I am honored to speak at the conference of the International Association of Workforce Professionals in Portland. I will infuse ‘happiness’ into the event with the use of music, humor, engagement, audience activity and real life stories to explore the true meaning of happiness. “Happiness According To Siri, Who Lives In My iPhone” will be a fun, inspirational and memorable presentation that I am excited to share!
Is all this talk about happiness important? You bet it is. Happier people are healthier; more satisfied with life and their relationships, and studies show they live longer. Once we understand the power of happiness, it changes our thinking, actions and conversations.
Happiness - it’s an approach to life. It’s choosing to be positive and grateful for what you have now. It’s not letting other people tell us who we are, or why we want. You get to decide that for yourself.
After all, it’s your life, isn’t it?
Cheers my friends!
Inspire Yourself - Start with 1, 2, 3!
May 31, 2025 inspiration, speaking Leave a comment
Taking the first step in changing directions in your life can be difficult but, ultimately, rewarding.
You can change nearly any area of your life; one step at a time, it’s easier than you think.
Just give yourself permission to start - begin with 1, 2, 3!
I BELIEVE in the power within you!
Attitude Mentors Are Inspirational And Contagious
April 15, 2026 book, inspiration, speaking Leave a comment
A mentor is someone who offers the kind of support and guidance that can help you develop the necessary skills and knowledge that will allow you to become your best self. A mentor is someone who can offer you wisdom without prejudice, someone who inspires you to greater achievement, by providing you with ideas and concepts that go beyond your experience. A mentor can be a teacher, a coach, a counselor, a role-type model, a neighbor, a relative, or a friend - someone like Kathy Peck-Nestell - one of the attitude mentors in my life.
Kathy’s story “Saint John” on page 26 of Willamette Living Magazine is a shining example of strength, integrity and determination. Kathy chooses to be positive and has a grateful attitude.
Being thankful for what you have, the person you are and the people that are part of your life is essential in maintaining an upbeat attitude.
For years I let my circumstances choose my attitude, not realizing I had the power to choose it myself. Just because we make a choice to have a positive attitude does not mean that our lives will transform into beautiful calm pretty pictures and stay that way forever. Choosing a positive attitude is a process.
Sure, we will still experience setbacks, frustrations and fear. The key is how we react to these experiences. Do we let it ruin our day, or do we choose to pick ourselves up and look hopefully to the future again? We all have the power to choose our attitude and this choice will impact our lives for success.
At the age of 17 I bought a book from a used bookstore that continues to change my life. It was a condensed version of four books in one. The title of the section I read over and over is “The Power of Positive Thinking” by Norman Vincent Peale. There are so many great principles in the book, and the one that has always stuck with me is the phrase:
A positive attitude is contagious. I hope you catch it and catch it good!
I do my best to notice everyone that comes my way. I try to share a little joy or laughter and smile at strangers, even if a few people think I am strange. Most people love being smiled at - it’s a reflection of positive attitude and happiness, and who couldn’t use a little more of that?
Cheers!
Only The Lonely
March 22, 2026 book, inspiration, speaking, Uncategorized Leave a comment
Meet my friend, Michelle.
Everything she touches is magical. Today she touched my heart in a big way.
A postponed event and a forgotten call to Michelle left her with flowers galore. What to do? She gave them all away!
Recycled containers, mostly tin cans and such, became beautiful once more as she left arrangements on sidewalks, at restaurants and more. From Vancouver through Portland and Beaverton too, her please adopt me today, I’m “The Lonely Bouquet” brought sunshine into the homes they now will stay.
I’M INSPIRED!
My home adopted one of the thoughtfully “abandoned” celebrations of Spring and I will remember this random act of kindness to others, forever.
Only the lonely?
Not when Michelle comes to town!
Cheers!
_______________________________
STORIES. GET INSPIRED! Find your inspiration in Bonnie’s book, “Dedicated To The Cup, Nine Ways To Reinvent A Life!” A collection of real-life inspirational stories with chapters that address different themes, including courage, confidence, perfection, gratitude and legacy, and features “story sips” from the cups of life of 16 people Bonnie has met along her journey as an international speaker.
Dedicated To The Cup may be purchased on Amazon for Kindle, in audio download, eBook format or in paperback through bonniemilletto.com/book. For more information or booking Bonnie, visit bonniemilletto.com.
